it’s a good day

It’s been a really good (LONG) three day trip.  On the first day we flew JFK to Salt Lake City and sat for three hours, then flew to Atlanta for a nine hour layover (ouch).  The second day we flew from Atlanta to Jacksonville, FL and back (had another three hour sit) then on to Salt Lake City again for a 23 hour layover (which was WONDERFUL, actually).  Today we left SLC at 5:30 and flew directly to (freezing) JFK and I’m finally home.

It’s been SO long, but my crew was awesome.  Diva (not her real name, but it’s on her wings, so that’s what we call her), Quina and Mario were absolutely wonderful and they made the long days more than bearable – it was a blast!

On our single leg to New York tonight, we had a lovely man in first class give Diva an envelope.  He said to her:  “I think you Flight Attendants are completely underappreciated and I wanted to say thank you.”

The envelope held a thank you card.

And one hundred dollars in cash.

Handing us cash was totally unneccessary and completely appreciated – it may  have been the nicest thing someone has done for me on a flight (other than the compliment letters they send to my airline because I ROCK).

If my day hadn’t already been super-fabulous to start with, I would say getting $25 made it.  As it was, it just made it better.

I love my job.  I love the people (most of the time).  I’m a very happy girl.

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amazed and amused

I’m madly in smit with this one song right now (even though I’m already lying, there are a LOT of songs I’m in smit with, not just this ONE), and I can’t get it out of my head.  Flobots – Handlebars. It’s something massively special, this particular song resonates with me.  I wanted to post the lyrics to see if anyone else wanted to go listen to it, and give me some feedback on what YOU think the song is saying.  Tell me the story.

I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars
No handlebars

I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars
No handlebars

Look at me, look at me
hands in the air like it’s good to be
ALIVE
and I’m a famous rapper
even when the paths’re all crookedy
I can show you how to do-si-do
I can show you how to scratch a record
I can take apart the remote control
And I can almost put it back together
I can tie a knot in a cherry stem
I can tell you about Leif Ericson
I know all the words to “De Colores”
And “I’m Proud to be an American”
Me and my friend saw a platypus
Me and my friend made a comic book
And guess how long it took
I can do anything that I want cuz, look:

I can keep rhythm with no metronome
No metronome
No metronome

I can see your face on the telephone
On the telephone
On the telephone

Look at me
Look at me
Just called to say that it’s good to be
ALIVE
In such a small world
All curled up with a book to read
I can make money open up a thrift store
I can make a living off a magazine
I can design an engine sixty-four
Miles to a gallon of gasoline
I can make new antibiotics
I can make computers survive aquatic conditions
I know how to run a business
And I can make you wanna buy a product
Movers shakers and producers
Me and my friends understand the future
I see the strings that control the systems
I can do anything with no assistance
I can lead a nation with a microphone
With a microphone
With a microphone
I can split the atoms of a molecule
Of a molecule
Of a molecule

Look at me
Look at me
Driving and I won’t stop
And it feels so good to be
Alive and on top
My reach is global
My tower secure
My cause is noble
My power is pure
I can hand out a million vaccinations
Or let’em all die in exasperation
Have’em all healed of their lacerations
Have’em all killed by assassination
I can make anybody go to prison
Just because I don’t like’em and
I can do anything with no permission
I have it all under my command
I can guide a missile by satellite
By satellite
By satellite
and I can hit a target through a telescope
Through a telescope
Through a telescope
and I can end the planet in a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust

I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handle bars
No handlebars

I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars
No handlebars

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a prayer

I wrote something beautiful, long ago.  Not to say that what I write lately isn’t beautiful, but in recent months the postings haven’t been exactly plentiful or prolific.  I’ve been in hiding.  Hibernating.  On haitus.  Homeward bound, really.

Things have gone a bit wonky, and I’m not sure I’m ready to blog about them, but I have been expressing my emotions instead of keeping them in (for the most part).  I was talking to someone the other day about my column about being agnostic and apathetic, and they brought up some challenging questions about my views of destiny, fate, the world, god, my faith…etc.  Those questions, while being thought-provoking, weren’t meant to change my mind or push me in a direction.  Just questions, but being phrased in a certain way made them linger and resonate.

Do I have faith?  If I don’t, I know I once did, so where did it go?  I know where I lost my faith in the followers of religion, but what about ME?

I’m not about to jump off the Cliff of Decision into the Realm of Born Again, but I am definitely willing to open my mind and see what happens.  The following is a letter I wrote in May (or possibly earlier) of 2005.  I thought about it the other day, and finally had a moment to go find it.  I know exactly where I was when I wrote it.  I know where I was working, what I was doing and even what I was wearing.  I know who my friends were and I know what future I was bright and hopeful for.

Dear [Supreme Being, etc. etc.]

I had a moment today that somehow came together to make me realize how truly wonderful life is. How unbelievably and infinitely precious and awesome everything is when you open your eyes to it. It’s indescribable, this moment, but I had to give thanks somewhere, so here I am.

Thank you.

Thank you for helping me see that I can be everything and anything. Thank you for giving me the strength to get through all the adversity, and the caring and warmth to appreciate the great people in my life.

Thank you for the patience to endure. Thank you for the willingness to accept. Thank you for the compassion to believe. Thank you for the sensitivity to view others as they can’t see themselves. Thank you for giving me the chance to trust and be trusted. Thank you for making me a person who can see the good in people, and see the beauty where no one else does.

Thank you for the ability to cry when I’m happy. Thank you for the gorgeous thunderstorm tonight, giving me the chance to wash away my fears and hurts and angers and faults and feel renewed. Thank you for the serenity to sit with my eyes closed, feeling the strength of the rain falling on me, and the sound of it slapping on the pavement around me. Thank you for that moment of silence just before Coldplay’s “Trouble” came on the radio.

Thank you for the chance to live in a dream, to bring a moment to fruition that has been a long time in coming. I will never, ever take it for granted.

Thank you for making me a person who has so much love in her one little body that she can encompass the world in her embrace. Thank you for making me ever so slightly insane enough to take it all in stride, and the courage to try things I am afraid to try. Thank you for making me self-aware enough to always try to better myself, but not so much so that I am striving for the wrong ideals.

Thank you for the people I truly love, those who have taken pieces of my heart and in return given me pieces of theirs. When they grow old and die, I will still remember the effect they have had on me throughout the seasons of my life, and I will relish my imperfect and flawed heart, because I will know I have loved completely and without question or regret.

Thank you for the chance to have a better future, and the dreams and hopes to make it come true.

Thank you, in short, for letting me be me.

With all my love and thanks,

Yours Truly

Even now, years later, when I’m realizing that dreams don’t always come true, that your hopes aren’t always what you get – I recognize that spark inside myself, I recognize what I wanted, but was unable to do at the time:

I wanted to have life.  To live.  To breathe.  To enjoy.  To experience.  To love.  To laugh.  To cry.  To feel.  To appreciate.  To care. To BE IN THE MOMENT.

I’m slowly and finally learning how to do that.  Be in the Moment.  That’s my goal for this year.  Every moment, good or bad, is mine to have and to hold and to live for.  There’s no greater goal for me than that.

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