um…what’s your point?
Here’s the tidbit I read in this weeks WestEnder magazine, copied verbatim:
“Don’t Put Your Penis Where It Isn’t Welcome:
A South African inventor has created a new female condom designed to stop rape by hooking sharp barbs of wire into a man’s penis if he tries to sexually assault a woman wearing the device. The “Rapex” is worn like a tampon and will grab hold of the offending member and attach itself to it until its owner gets to a hospital to have the metal barbs surgically removed. While some detractors of the device have criticized its “vengefulness,” inventor Sonette Ehlers has no second thoughts about her contraption. “It’s a medieval device for a medieval deed,” she says. “If any rapist finds himself hopping with pain as a result…that seems just fine to me. Yes, it’s vengeful. Yes, it hurts rapists. Oh, well.” Get yours at RapeStop.net.”
So. Where shall I start? First of all, I suppose I’d like to say “Well Done, Sonnette!” A second, immediate, thought also comes to me – how did she test the device? Ouch!
Also: Vengeance is completely and totally appropriate. Vengeful? How can ANYONE sympathize with the pain of a would-be rapist? If some guy is going to try to violate the sanctity of my body, he had better come prepared to limp away. Barbs that need to be surgically removed are absolutely, positively a great punishment. Maybe the dick-head (pardon the pun) would think twice before committing that particular crime. To that same end, hospitals could notify police immediately – there wouldn’t be any way for someone to get away with rape because the victim was too upset/terrified/ashamed of coming forward to report the crime.
If it wasn’t so difficult and disgusting, I’d suggest a contraption that BITES THE MOTHERFUCKER OFF. But I suppose some (likely ALL) women would be a little squeamish about keeping the penis of the man who tried to rape you INSIDE OF HER.
Ew. But hey – if they all thought we were wearing one – rapes would stop before they started. As for me, I think I’m getting a piranha.
Filed under 'spection | Comments Off100 things
A couple of years ago, or something, maybe even longer, I posted 100 things to be happy about. Things change, as they are wont to do, and I’ve been working on a newer, better list of another hundred things to be happy about. I’m sure I’ll post that list soon, or as soon as I get back from this mental vacation (that has, apparently, lasted three months). These 100 things, though, are personal. You might agree and smile at some, and not understand others. Hell, I barely understand some of them, now that it’s two years later! It’s okay. You should write your own 100 things list, and smile at it for the rest of the year. Then rinse and repeat. There is always something to be happy about.1. It’s spring again
2. …it’s almost summer.
3. Full moons
4. Fresh salsa
5. Learning how to fry an egg, properly
6. Crossword puzzles
7. Music to dance around in the car to
8. Getting a tan
9. New friends
10. Old friends
11. Star gazing on clear nights, and trying to find constellations that make sense
12. Making up new names for the ones that don’t
13. Possibilities
14. Traveling
15. Hot summer nights
16. Karaoke with the girls
17. Chick flicks
18. Long distance phone calls
19. Petticoats
20. Eating more vegetables
21. Perfumed letters
22. High heeled sandals
23. Jeans that fit perfectly
24. Smiling at strangers
25. Posting on the blog
26. Flowers blooming everywhere
27. The smell of freshly brewed coffee
28. Connections
29. Quitting smoking
30. Cool evening breezes
31. Sultry summer nights
32. Working two jobs, because it’s worth it
33. Feeling great about yourself
34. Brand new pens
35. Sugar-free jello
36. Inside jokes
37. Growing your own herbs
38. …then cooking with them
39. Beautiful betta fish, three of them
40. Cheesy mix tapes your mom makes, because they’re good songs, no matter how old they get
41. Feeling smitten again, every day
42. Pictures that are worth more than a thousand words
43. Tomatos – they actually *are* pretty good
44. Tomatos – they are VEGETABLES, not fruits
45. Being flirted with
46. Every traffic light being green
47. Re-reading favorite books
48. Painting because it’s good for your soul
49. Taking chances, because even if you get hurt, you’re still a better person for it
50. Developing a better relationship with your family
51. Trying to turn out as good of a person as your Grandmother is
52. Ballroom dancing, no matter how terribly awkward you are
53. Learning to accept and love your own body
54. Watching the grass get greener as the days get longer
55. Singing “I will survive” and meaning it
56. Elvis movies
57. Nonsensical conversations that make sense for no reason at all
58. Understanding a keen sense of humor is even sexier than … Brad Pitt. Yes, even naked.
59. Camaraderie
60. Learning to laugh at your past, so that you can have a better future
61. The smell of freshly baked waffle cones
62. Fresh vegetables at the Farmer’s Market
63. Haircuts that make you feel fabulous, even though you don’t look that much different
64. A full gas tank and a whole day to do what you want
65. Being kept warm by good thoughts and meaningful music
66. Having a scratchy, throaty voice after staying up talking for way too long
67. Dancing for hours
68. …And having it be considered a cardio workout
69. Not dieting and still losing weight
70. Being happy being yourself
71. Lotion that makes you feel pampered even when it wasn’t expensive
72. New climbing gear!
73. Inspiring yourself to be better
74. Handmade whipped cream
75. Not being worried about you look in a mirror
76. Well loved and read books that become movies which hopefully don’t suck.
77. Working because you love it, not because you have to
78. Crossing your fingers and hoping you win the lottery
79. Anticipation
80. Buying fresh flowers
81. Fresh pancakes
82. The warmy-cool smell of the roads just after it starts raining
83. Photo booths
84. Love letters
85. A freshly cleaned and waxed car
86. Coffee makers set to brew when your alarm goes off
87. White linen
88. Ice cold beer with friends
89. Poetry
90. The color of turquoise
91. Having the knack of accessorizing, and using it.
92. Having a very sexy, big brain and using it
93. Standing in a rainstorm, being drenched and smiling because it feels so good
94. Being able to curl your hair because it’s long enough again
95. Moss Green
96. Sepia-toned photographs
97. Sweet Tea
98. Writing out lists of things to be happy about.
99. Me.
100. You.
nothing left to do but dance
1) I’ve come to realize… eating late at night gives me indigestion. and makes me fat.
2) I am listening to… jack johnson. scissor sisters. george michael. jamiroquai. itunes party shuffle, actually.
3) I talk… too fast. too much. inanely. my biggest fault.
4) I love… that my cat, while not being a lap-cat, will happily snuggle in next to me while I’m reading.
5) My best friends… are people who I enjoy being around. so, that makes for quite a few of them, sometimes.
6) I sing… pretty well, but I think I’ve lost confidence in the last few years.
7) I lost… my writing ability, for the time being.
I hate it when people… expect more of me than I’m willing to give. I end up feeling guilty.
9) Love is… when you find the weirdest things endearing.
10) Marriage is… more work than anyone ever thinks it is, sometimes. other times it’s like ‘what’s the big fuss about? this is easy!’
11) Somewhere, someone is thinking… about where they’ll be in ten years.
12) I’ll always be… enthusiastic. loud. talkative. creative.
13) I have a crush on… my husband, still. weird, hey?
14) The last time I cried was… Monday, March 26.
15) My cellphone… gets abused quite often. last week it got accidentally put in the dryer for ten minutes. lucky for me, it’s pretty sturdy.
16) When I wake up in the morning… i reset the alarm five times. I know, it’s retarded, but it’s my thing.
17) Before I go to sleep at night… i design clothes in my head.
18) Right now I am thinking about… what I ate that gave me such horrible stomach pains, and that I really should get back to doing the dishes.
19) Babies are… totally expensive. and smelly. and not mine, thank god.
20) I get on the computer… To check my email, lately.
21) Today I… watched spiderman 2. read a book. cooked. ate roasted garlic cream cheese (hence the stomach ache). encouraged a one year old to walk on his own. watched as that one year old promptly did a face plant in the dirt on the playground. laughed hysterically while I picked him up. did some dishes. snuggled the cat. blogged.
22) Tonight I will… go to bed here in a few.
23) Tomorrow I will… work early. finish the damn dishes.
24) I really want… lots of money. not millions, a couple of thousands would do.
25) The person who will most likely respond to this… possibly Tom if he’s not busy tomorrow. Maybe Shanel if she’s channelling me.
